$40 copay please

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i feel like i spend most of my months handing over my hard earned money in the form of $40 copays. day 3 monitoring/bloodwork, 3 or 4 follicle checks, 2 iuis, progesterone check and the ever-depressing blood test to confirm that you are a loser who is not pregnant. $40 copay please. of course, this does not apply to the prescriptions of femara or the always fun hcg shot. it just kills me when i read stories about terrible people who get pregnant at the drop of a hat, people who shouldn’t be allowed to take care of a piece of cheese, let alone a child and yet here i am. spending all of my money on just a small chance to become a mother. while fighting with my insurance company yesterday, i came across a lovely piece of information. it was something to the effect of “fertility treatments/medications are a privilege, not a right. therefore, not all are covered under your insurance plan.” well isn’t that nice. it’s not like i don’t get reminded of this everyday of my life. that the one thing that i have been told as a girl/woman was my purpose or that one of the things i promised to give God when i married my husband is not something that i am promised. it is apparently something i have to fight everyday for. something i have to pray everyday for. something i have to cry every month for. something i have to pay a $40 copay for. that’s my privilege. i’m a lucky lady.

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